Ocean Waves and Our Savior

Saturday June 28

As an ocean waves dances onto the shore, there is movement in the sand. The wave carries sand as it washes up onto the shore. And as it descends off the beach, the wave carries sand back down again. This I call the cycle of waves and sand.

I stood watching the waves. Contemplating life in Pennsylvania. I'm exhausted. Tired from looking at the ground in New York to avoid bad images. Tired from being a face in the crowd. Tired from feeling so far away from those who mean the most to me. Tired from seeing more sin than righteousness. Tired from having to work a million times harder to feel the spirit of the Lord. Tired from feeling like an object to men as I walk to go eat lunch. Tired of seeing cross-dressers. Tired from being surrounded constantly by people drinking, people who just drank, people who are going to drink. Tired from having Satan working so hard to have me relinguish my testimony to him. Tired from being tired.

I stood watching the waves. Being tired yet still recognizing the wonder in the ocean made by our heavenly father. The song Beautiful to him came to mind.

So much noise. So much peace destroyed. I can hardly hear the voice, leading me through the noise. So much noise. The world's little eyes. Destruction in disguise. Oppurtunities to compromise. To make me beautiful in their eyes. I don't wanna buy the world's little eyes. I define myself and find my beauty in the light he gives. I'm refined by his divine intentions everday I live. It doesn't matter what the world believes. Or what they say that beauty means. It comes from within. I wanna be beautiful to him. I know how to shine. My life's not really mine. It's not about a worldy climb. It's all about his design. 'Cause in his eyes. I wanna shine.

By this time the cycle of waves and sand had occured so many times, I was left engulfed to my calves with sand. When I was embedded deep into the sand, it became easier to fight against the crashing waves.

Waves of temptation surround us each day. Sand particles of faith ground us to our savior. The more waves we withstand, the more grounded we become. So long as we resist the violent tug of the tempting waves, we will become more embedded in the sand of our faith. The more embedded in our faith we become, the more we will feel the savior's love. The more we feel his love, the more faith we have. The more faith we have the easier it is battle temptations. This I call the cycle of faith.

Firmly dismiss Satan to quickly welcome the Lord. All it takes is one wave. Destruction or Salvation?

I hope this makes sense. Some of the thoughts I had on the beach. Who could ask for a better friend than our heavenly father? He is always aware of me. He is always aware of you.